Earlier this year I was honored to meet a couple that were dealing with breast cancer. They had been together almost a decade and decided to get married for a host of reasons. They main one was they realized how precious time was and how important it was for them to spend it together.
I am a fellow cancer survivor so the bride and I shared some very inappropriate jokes. The kind of morbid humor that only fellow cancer survivors find amusing. It was one of those moments that truly touched my heart.
So in honor of those two, if anyone has breast cancer I will officiate their ceremony for free in October. If you are already married I will do your vow renewal. And for that couple, I wrote them this song.
Warning, I have only had 3 ukulele lessons.
(my intention is to come back and post a YouTube video performing this song but I am very forgetful)
Breast Cancer Sucks By Dudeist Jon
Breast cancer’s rough, it’s a real tough fight,
Worse than losing your keys on a dark, stormy night.
It’s worse than a cold when the weather’s so hot,
Or stepping in dog poo, that’s a really smelly spot!
But hey, you’re getting new boobs, you’ll be looking fine,
Nipple tattoos on deck, they’ll be one of a kind!
Chemo makes you sick, but you’ll rise from the muck,
‘Cause breast cancer won’t beat you, you’re tougher than f*ck!
It’s worse than a movie that’s three hours long,
Or having to listen to this stupid song.
Worse than your phone dying during a call,
Or getting a speeding ticket — that’s the worst of all!
But hey, you’re getting new boobs, you’ll be looking fine,
Nipple tattoos on deck, they’ll be one of a kind!
Chemo makes you sick, but you’ll rise from the muck,
‘Cause breast cancer won’t beat you, you’re tougher than f*ck!
So here’s to the laughter, the tears, and the fight,
With friends all around you, you’ll be alright.
You’ll wear your new scars like a badge of your might,
Because breast cancer’s rough, and you’ll win the fight,
But hey, you’re getting new boobs, you’ll be looking fine,
Nipple tattoos on deck, they’ll be one of a kind!
Chemo makes you sick, but you’ll rise from the muck,
‘Cause breast cancer won’t beat you, you’re tougher than f*ck!